Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Seven Stages of Stupid...

There is a certain peace gained from the daily chores on my tiny little farm. Before the kids get up and the day starts to really churn, I slip on my boots and head out to feed the goats and let them out into the pasture. I head to the hen house to check their feed and refill the waterers.

On this particular day things just started a little off. First of all it's April vacation so the house is FULL of people this morning. AND it's raining so my husband didn't go to work-one more person. They are all up milling around getting in my way, messing things up. (Except the teenager, she's not up) SO, I head out to do my chores leaving the melee behind me. I feed the goats, pet dear Dottie and head to the chicken house. I open the latch, step in and the wind blows the door shut. Whatever. I feed the chickens, check for eggs, sneer at Charles for being a jerk and push open the door. I push open the door. The door has latched and I am trapped in the hen house. There is no need to holler for help, no one can hear me out here. I decided to wait. and wait. How long before they begin to miss me?

So after 20 minutes my options are squeezing through the chicken door...Yeah, that's not happening. Ever.

I could climb up to these windows and somehow get my feet out and then scoot out...TWENTY years ago maybe.

So I stand there waiting for them to miss me. It stinks. Figuratively and literally. The chickens are suspicious of me. I hope I don't die here. I can't believe I have been out here for 40 minutes and no one has missed me. Help...

I go through the seven stages of grief.

1. Shock and Denial~I can't believe that the door had the audacity to shut and there is no way that this can be happening to ME!

2. Pain and Guilt~Well the smell is almost painful and I should have replaced the wire that opens the latch from the inside when it fell off. I didn't, I am so stupid.

3. Anger and Bargaining~How could those people just leave me out here. If the'd only come get me I'd never be snippy at them again. Except for sometimes when they annoy me.

4. Depression, reflection and lonliness~This is so not fun. I think of the things that are just outside that door. I miss the noise and clamor that is sure to be going on in my kitchen. Chickens do not make good friends, they all are smushed into a corner trying to get away from me.

5. The upward turn~I think this is when I actually tried to get up on the box and climb out through the window.

6. Reconstruction and Working Through~I took the matter into my own hands (after about an HOUR) and kicked the door down.

7. Acceptance and Hope~Now I've got a broken door but it can be fixed and my backyard never looked so lovely! I'm free!


Smiles from the farm,

PS: PLEASE check out this dear blog, Rural Maine Life
She has the most darling give away in celebration of her birthday and her 100th post! She is the loveliest person and smart enough to not get caught in a chicken house.


  1. I don't know about being that smart. One morning I went out in my nightgown and my husband's boots to fill the bird feeder. The snow was deep. Anyway, I got stuck in the snow..the boots were sucked right up...I had no socks on, no jacket, and there I was, in the front yard for all to see, up to my waist in the snow. You get the picture. Thank you for posting about my give-away! Hugs, Kathleen

  2. I am so glad you're free at last !! Question. Did they ever miss you?!!! Now I would make someone else fix the broken door!! LOL!!!

    I really like the picture of the daffodils...with the rust and the old pan.... great!

  3. I am sorry that you got stuck in the hen house, but it sure made for a great, funny post! Thanks for the smile!

  4. Sometimes, ya just have one of those days. Unfortunatly, it happened to you, BUT luckily for me (still laughing) it happened to you. This was a great read to start my day off with, thanks again, Char

  5. You know, this happened to us once when Ella butted the door shut. Getting stuck with chickens, though, has to be far worse. Did anyone ever miss you...even a little bit? Oy.

  6. You know they never did miss me. They said that they thought I was upstairs. Which is weird because usually they won't leave me alone. Maybe there was more to this episode then I thought. MAYBE it wasn't an accident at all. Guess, I'll have to watch my back.


  7. How funny! I've been locked in the garden shed and had to finagle the lock; didn't have to kick any doors open though.
    Does this mean you're ready for the Seals?
    Found my way here via Spot On Cedar Pond, I think.
    Thanks for the chuckles this a.m.

  8. Sheesh. Found my way here via MY blog! I'm such a dolt sometimes!