Wednesday, December 30, 2009

In Twenty-Ten I Resolve to...

Not put eggs in my sweatshirt pocket and then shovel chicken poop and drag it down to the compost pile, forgetting said egg,  because nothing good comes of that.

And not lose weight and not become organized, 'cause face it, it's just not happening.  So I resolve to accept my weight and my slovenly ways. 

That's it.  Those are my two resolutions.  No eggs in pockets and to accept who I am.  Perfect. 

I hope you have similar resolutions, except if you don't have chickens, because well that first one just won't make much sense.  Though even if you don't have chickens, it's still a good idea to NOT put eggs in your pockets.  There you go, my gift of worldly wisdom to you.  You're welcome. 

Smiles from the farm,

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Blizzard of '09, mouse poop and Merry Christmas

Yeah, yeah, yeah the EAST COAST was bombarded, blasted and bombed with a nasty BLIZZARD.  The east coast?  Really?  I do believe we have the eastest coast up here in Maine.  We got nuthin.  Just the old dirty snow from a few weeks ago.  The blizzard of '09, yeah ok, whatever.'s really close to Christmas and I'm not ready and I'm stressing a bit and there is so much to do so I'm feeling a little peckish.  To add to all the glory, I've run out of cat.  Which is kind of like running out of nutmeg but instead of not being able to enjoy a tasty eggnog, I've got this....

We happen to live one of those roads that is a little bit from town.  Our house is hidden by trees and it seems it is a perfect spot for dropping unwanted cats.  In the past when we have run out of cat, we have just waited and another shows up.  This may seem a bit callous to you kitty lovers out there, but be assured that the kitty we take in is spayed/neutered and vaccinated (sometimes not on time, but nonetheless).  I try to catch all the extra kitties and take them to the shelter.  Well it seems my bitching and moaning about the irresponsible kitty droppers has taken hold and we have no more kitties.  Our last little foundling, Precious,disappeared about a month ago and she is sorely missed.  So if a kitty doesn't show up soon, we will be buried in mouse poop and that is just gross. 

Smiles from the (kitty missin') farm,

Thursday, December 17, 2009

If I Were a Snowman...

If I were a snowman
all white and freezing cold
I'd never plan for hard times
‘cause I’d never get that old

If I were a snowman
standing just outside your door
 once conceived in joyous revelry
I'd be thought of no more

If I were a snowman
my fate so abruptly dealt
there'd be no time to love nor hate me
and no mourning when I'd melt

If I were a snowman
my heart just made of snow
there'd be nothing on the inside
That the outside doesn’t show.

If I were a snowman
I'd freeze all your hurt and pain
I’d keep it in my frigid breath
and then simply vanish with the rain.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Ode to Chickens in the Kitchen

One little chick so cute and so mellow
Like a dear piece of heaven, only in yellow

Two baby chicks so soft and sweet
the only thing better than two chicks, is three!

Five little birds like a flock of love
peeping and cooing like a little lost dove

Ten fluffy butts all in a row
I’d show you something cuter, but what? I don’t know!

Fifteen tiny chickens growing so fast
The fluff and the peeping surely won’t last

Twenty-five birds just pooping and peeping
So smelly and rancid, my eyes they are weeping

Thirty-Two smelly crappers, just crapping and stinking!
Somebody tell me, WHAT WAS I THINKING!

Smiles from the (never thinks things through) farm,

PS: Yes I know there are not 10 fluffy butts in that picture.  Have YOU ever tried to line up ten baby chickens to take a picture of their butts?  I didn't think so.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

They don't make 'em like that anymore...

In following a link to see drunk dogs at a dinner party as directed by June of  Bye Bye Pie, I found this video.  I think we need more dogs with prosthetic arms to milk sassy goats.  I really do.

Smiles f rom the (ain't no dogs here) farm,

Monday, December 7, 2009

If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will...

Am I a monster for wanting a thick, luxurious coat made from the teeny, tiny hides of  BABY CHICKENS!?

Howibble, howibble, howibble, howibble...

Fine, I'll just wait until you're grown.

Then I will eat your unborn children.  Muhaaaahaaahaaa

Smiles from the (cheep-cheep) farm,

Sunday, December 6, 2009

The DaOttie Code

In breaking news, it has been determined through really high tech stuff that beneath the face of the iconic Mona Lisa, another face was painted first. We can only hope that Dan Brown will get to the bottom of this mystery.

Smiles from the farm,

Thank You

My Dear Friends,

Thank you so much for your warm thoughts.  We're still adjusting, but with as much peace and humor as possible.  Life goes on.  Today is good and that's all that matters.