This Little Guy Could Use Some Help...

The first thing I thought of when I read this article was that this could have been my youngest daughter.  She was is always doing stuff like this.  And even though she's 15, I remember what her little hands looked like at 5.  if you can help with just a dollar or two, I'm sure it would mean the world to this family.

Summer Orange

Orange, it's not just for Fall anymore....

1.  New handmade skirt with purchased orange T-shirt
2.  Orange Cat
3.  Orange bowl with garlic
4.  Tiger Lily bouquet 
5.  Orange Chicken
6.  New goat hoof trimmers
7.  100 feet of orange garden hose
8.  Orange spools
9.  Two orange marbles

Pattern Storage Revisited...

I went to the auction yesterday, but didn't really feel like spending money.  Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense.  But sometimes auctions can be like free museums of the truly odd and weird.  Cheap entertainment!  If I was going to buy anything it was going to be something to organize the junk that I already own, so I bought a weathered shelf for $2.00.  At this particular auction, if you ask for something to be separated from the lot, the price starts at $10.00.  Well, that's too rich for my blood.  So I usually wait for no one to bid and the price to go down to $1.00 before I start.  It's a complicated process.  But anyway,  this lot came up and I really wanted  one of those round pattern display things.

But I didn't want to pay $10.00 for it.  So I asked the guy who ended up buying the whole lot for $5.00, if I could buy one rack for $5.00 rendering him getting all that crap for free.  He had to think about it.  I know...auction people can be odd and weird.  Present company included.  Finally he agreed and I got my one rack.

So with a little bit of paint and a printed copy of a needle card for the display slot on the top-I have a lovely storage solution for my favorite vintage patterns.  Because believe it or not, that four-drawer dresser is full and I need more storage space for the patterns.  I guess I could have bought the Simplicity case, but it's kind of ugly.

Oh!  It swivels.  I don't know why but I like things that swivel.  (See aforementioned odd and weird comment).  

Smiles,

Lisa

Fifteen Years

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It is my anniversary and I didn't even know it.  The years go by so quickly.  I remember that day like it was yesterday.  It was early evening and I had sat down at my computer and unhooked the telephone line and connected the phone line into the back of the machine.  To do this I had to get down on hands and knees, pull the cord tight and make sure to remember to step over it when I got up to go to the bathroom.  Then I pressed the button to connect.  America Online.  But before the pixelated logo came up on my screen, I had to listen to the screech and static of the connection.  Connecting-connecting-connecting-connecting-no seriously-connecting.  Pop.  There it is.  You've Got Mail.

On that summer evening in 1997, I was just beginning a very voracious habit of collecting vintage Barbie Dolls.  I was 27.  I was a member of an AOL Board dedicated to Vintage Barbies. I kept reading about something called eBay.  I went there.  I signed up and the rest is history.  I sold my first item.  A Malibu Barbie.  I laid her on my scanner for the picture.  She sold for double what I paid.

I only use eBay for printer ink and the occasional sewing supply now.  Gone are the days of breathless anticipation, waiting to see if you "won".  Oh nostalgia.

At least I have this.

No, I didn't download the eBay Community Member Anniversary Certificate to proudly display, even though I earned it.  If "earning it" means signing up 15 years ago and occasionally buying past date flea medication or buttons in bulk.  

Still, it's an honor.  Please don't feel obligated to send gifts.  After all, my 20th is coming right up.  

The Last Day

I found this nest in my driveway today.  There were no bits of egg shells or tiny feathers left.  No evidence left at all that a mother bird had built it and laid her eggs and hatched them.  Now they were all gone.  She had pushed them out of the nest and let them fall or fly.  Then she pushed the little home out of the tree so that they would have no reason to come back.  I wonder if she sat there and thought about the last day?   Did she feel sad that this part of her life was over?  Did she know exactly when she was going to let them go?  Did she count down the days, marking X's on a little bird calendar, watching the date and time approach with an equal amount of happiness, fear and heartbreaking sadness?

Today this little girl came home from her very last day of high school.  There are many-many days ahead full of new experiences and people and a whole wonderful life ahead of her.  Days that seem immeasurable and unending from where she stands right now.  I only hope she treasures each experience and doesn't wait until the last day to reflect on what it all meant.  

Now, if you will please excuse me.  I have to dry my tears and hire a bulldozer to rip this place APART.  What? I need to make sure she has no reason to come back.  That's what the best mothers do.  It's nature, damn it.

I love you, Kass and am very proud of who you have become.  You will fly.

The One Where Chi-Chi Rides a Turtle...

I am usually pretty good at handling things.  But sometimes, well sometimes I just don't know what to do.  


This guy was in the goat pen this morning.

He's a snapper.  Or most likely SHE'S a snappper.  I assume she's looking for a place to lay eggs.  So I should probably just leave her alone, right?  


Well, I don't have a problem with that.  Some of the others?  Well they are all in it for themselves and knowing there may be a possibility of a cookie or two, they forego common courtesy and possibly their own safety.  Did I  mention SNAPPING in describing this visitor.  As in SNAP.    

And not Ginger Snaps.  


Well maybe they'll leave her alone and no one will be bothered.  

Or not.  Most likely not.  Unless she enjoys being ridden by a goat.  No, I think I should probably do something about this.   


So anyone have any ideas on how to wrangle a snapper out of a goat pen?  Anyone?  I'll just be right here waiting for you to tell me what to do, 'cause I really am at a loss on this one.  

You Know What I Am?

Sexy...........HA!

But the goat house is clean.  

Dottie is tolerating my lack of hygiene, but I think I'm offending her.  

Jake, however, thought I was delightful.

But he was the only one.  I think I'll go shower now.  

Smiles from the farm,

Lisa

The One That Got Away...

A sign just like this was at the auction on Sunday, tucked away in a box of junk.  I mean, come on!  Hamm's Beer--could it be anymore Mad Men--retro?  I wanted it so-so bad.

So during this particular part of the auction you have to crowd around the auctioneer in this really tight, dirty space with people pushing and shoving.  It's pretty intense.  So I stood by my sign, waiting for the runner to start picking the boxes.  I told him what I wanted and started bidding.  It went up to $30.00 and the other bidder got angry and shouted "Who the hell am I bidding against?"  The auctioneer pointed to me and I dropped out.  Not because I was intimidated, but because $30.00 was my limit.  Well it turns out we were bidding on a box of moldy books.  I expressed my relief that I hadn't won.  The bidder heard me and started yelling about how I jacked the price up.  I tried to tell him that I thought we were bidding on the sign and he just glared at me.  Hey, that's the way it goes.  SO then the real sign comes up and again it goes up to $30.00 and I again, let it go.  Crap.

When I got home I looked on Ebay to see if I could find one.  I did.  It sold for over $600.00.  Did I mention, crap?

Crap.  Don Draper wouldn't have let it go.

Oh well.  I did get a box of creepy old dolls and a duffle bag full of vintage cameras, a whole lot of old sewing stuff and a box of old tinware.  Oh!  And a Ukulele!  No, I don't know why 'cause I have no idea how to play it.  If I did...I'd write a sad song about Jon Hamm and beer.  IT.  WOULD.  BE.  AWESOME.

I'm a Dream Killer...

It may be because it's raining, but I feel frustrated today.  So I am going to give you a wonderful little rant.  I KNOW, yay..

Here's my issue.  Lifestyle Bloggers who post about their dreams of having a "little farm".

Then they get chickens.  They get chickens and take sweet little Instagram photos of their little hippy babies holding them and cuddling with them and giving them little kisses.  Sigh.  Would you allow Little Rainbow Skye to play with a piece of raw chicken?  No?  Why not?  Because when you allow her/him to snuggle with a live chicken you are doing just that.  LIVE chickens spread Salmonella.  Here, don't listen to me...listen to the CDC.

http://www.cdc.gov/Features/SalmonellaBabyBirds/

Your child could get seriously ill, possibly fatally ill.  But you've got some pretty good blog fodder, so there's that.

Oh and be prepared for the mess.  You can sigh over all the darling hen house pictures on Pinterest (the one with the upholstered chair and curtains?)  but chickens are nasty and smelly and kind of gross.  Their eggs are not perfect little packages of protein.  They are perfect little shit-covered packages of protein.

And be sure to watch for predators and your dog.

The next step they say they want to take is to get a goat or two.  A goat.  A goat.  Maybe two.  Goats are herd animals.  If you get one goat, that goat will be miserable.  And I don't care if little Flower Forest Rain-Thumper will spend every waking minute with the one goat.  You have to have TWO goats.  And now that you have your two goats, what the heck are you going to do with them?  Oh, you don't want to castrate the male, because OMG-NATURE?  Good choice.  Be prepared for the smell.  Be prepared to explain to little Flower why the widdle-sweetie pie goatie-umpkins is pleasuring himself on the fence post.  Have you ever seen a goat penis?  Yeah, that's something you never forget.  

Oh, you are going to breed your goats and milk them.  Good.  That's wonderful (no, really it is).  But please realize that to keep goats in milk you will be bringing more goats into the world.  How will you handle that?  Give the babies away, sell them, kill them?  Also things go wrong.  Are you ready to help deliver a goat?  Are you ready to deliver a stillborn goat?  Are you ready to repair a prolapse?  Are you ready to put your pet goat out of it's misery due to internal injuries?  Most normal vets don't do house calls.

You don't just get some animals on Craigs List and put them in a flowered field and walk away in your prairie skirt and fringy moccasins.

Ok, there.  I feel better.

Lisa

Be Forewarned, I Have Found a New Craft....

I have discovered how to stencil T-shirts with freezer paper and bleach and I won't rest until every article of clothing in this house bears an image.  I have started with these two.

THIS IS A VIKING.  My maiden name is Degerstrom and all of my life people have asked me where I am from.  Ummm...do I sound Swedish?    My Norse ancestry has instilled in me a love of the following:  Swedish fish, ummm...Volvo's?, Oh----meatballs, Dolph Lundgren and the chef from the Muppet Show.  We are a prideful race.  (Is Swedish a race?)  Anyway my daughter likes vikings so I made this.  Ya.

Us Swedes have a strong appreciation for self-deprecating humor.  Therefore we must honor our hero.

Liz Lemon.

If you want to know how to do this....wait have you been reading my blog for long because I REALLY suck at giving directions.  But essentially you trace an image onto the non-shiny side of freezer paper (not wax paper) cut out the image with an X-acto knife and then iron the stencil-shiny side down onto your shirt.  I put another piece on the inside of the shirt to keep the bleach from bleeding through.  Then you take it outside-OUTSIDE and lightly spray with a 1 part water-1 part bleach solution.  Then you can leave the shirt alone and walk away and let it dry or you can pick it up immediately because you have NO patience and peel the paper off.  If you do this, the image will be a bit smudgy, but that's ok.  Also you may want to cover the parts of the shirt you don't want bleached or you'll get a tie-dye effect.  WHICH I LIKE-THANK YOU VERY MUCH.    It's fun and you could also use fabric paint which would be cool too.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go bleach my face onto my husband's work clothes.

Smiles,
Lisa