Tuesday, May 22, 2012
I'm a Dream Killer...
It may be because it's raining, but I feel frustrated today. So I am going to give you a wonderful little rant. I KNOW, yay..
Here's my issue. Lifestyle Bloggers who post about their dreams of having a "little farm".
Then they get chickens. They get chickens and take sweet little Instagram photos of their little hippy babies holding them and cuddling with them and giving them little kisses. Sigh. Would you allow Little Rainbow Skye to play with a piece of raw chicken? No? Why not? Because when you allow her/him to snuggle with a live chicken you are doing just that. LIVE chickens spread Salmonella. Here, don't listen to me...listen to the CDC.
Your child could get seriously ill, possibly fatally ill. But you've got some pretty good blog fodder, so there's that.
Oh and be prepared for the mess. You can sigh over all the darling hen house pictures on Pinterest (the one with the upholstered chair and curtains?) but chickens are nasty and smelly and kind of gross. Their eggs are not perfect little packages of protein. They are perfect little shit-covered packages of protein.
And be sure to watch for predators and your dog.
The next step they say they want to take is to get a goat or two. A goat. A goat. Maybe two. Goats are herd animals. If you get one goat, that goat will be miserable. And I don't care if little Flower Forest Rain-Thumper will spend every waking minute with the one goat. You have to have TWO goats. And now that you have your two goats, what the heck are you going to do with them? Oh, you don't want to castrate the male, because OMG-NATURE? Good choice. Be prepared for the smell. Be prepared to explain to little Flower why the widdle-sweetie pie goatie-umpkins is pleasuring himself on the fence post. Have you ever seen a goat penis? Yeah, that's something you never forget.
Oh, you are going to breed your goats and milk them. Good. That's wonderful (no, really it is). But please realize that to keep goats in milk you will be bringing more goats into the world. How will you handle that? Give the babies away, sell them, kill them? Also things go wrong. Are you ready to help deliver a goat? Are you ready to deliver a stillborn goat? Are you ready to repair a prolapse? Are you ready to put your pet goat out of it's misery due to internal injuries? Most normal vets don't do house calls.
You don't just get some animals on Craigs List and put them in a flowered field and walk away in your prairie skirt and fringy moccasins.
Ok, there. I feel better.
Posted by Lisa at 11:16 AM