Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Big Bang Theory

Upon the fall of Man, God said to Eve:

I will greatly increase your pangs in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband,and he shall rule over you.

I'm not sure how that's working for you but in deference to God, I'll let him have at least half of that. However, there is one thing that is not mentioned that has been a burden to me all of my life.

It is...bangs. When Eve was cast from Eden was it not decreed that as a female she shall now know the uncertainty of bangs? Should she wear them long, should she cut them short, in the early 90's should she mousse them to stand up higher than a 12 foot satelite receiver? If at almost 40 years old she finally figures out the whole bang thing, will it be that she has to prove to her 15-year old that the flat iron just dropped in the toilet still works and proving thus melts the bangs she has grown out for two years, hence facilitating a hasty decision to all of a sudden HAVE bangs? Albeit straggling, standy up and look so stupid, frizzy ones?

Somebody pray for me.

Smiles from the farm,

Oh and in case I have offended anyone, please know that my God has a sense of humor. Or at least I hope he does. If not, I'm in a world of hurt.


  1. Numero Uno...God enjoys a good laugh, and I bet he has your blog bookmarked.

    Numero Dos...I don't know what to tell you about bangs. I'm still working on that one myself. Good luck.

  2. Oh Yum Lisa, burnt hair!!! On the good side, it'll grow, on the bad side, you will probably look silly for awhile........sorry girlfriend, but I just had to laugh. Char

  3. If you could just learn how to butt, it would straighten those bangs out in no time. Or, you could just sit down, have a few Peanuts and forget about it.