Saturday, March 6, 2010

The story Beatrix Potter never told...

Once upon a time Miss Molly McVermin decided to take up residence in a home that didn't belong to her!  Nowadays we call that trespassing if we've got manners and if not, we call it squatting.  If you're of a legal bent, it is called breaking and entering!  Oh that naughty Ms. Molly McVermin, tsk-tsk. 

Well it just so happened that the house she chose to barge right in and make herself at home at belonged to the Bea family.  The Bea family were plain old blue collar working folk,   They really were just trying to get by and they took the rude trespass of Miss Molly McVermin as just another bothersome weight on the burden of their already weary lives. 

All winter long Miss Molly McVermin languished in the warmth of the Bea home.  She ate from their larder, read their simple books, sullied their tidy housekeeping and generally made a nuisance of herself.  Still the Bea family kept on working, storing food only for their uninvited guest to not only eat it but destroy the containers it was kept in. 

Finally one day in early March when the sun shown warm, Ms. Molly McVermin put on her finest clothes, donned her prettiest hat and announced that she was going to go out for some fresh air.  She told the Bea daughters to clean up her room.  She told the Bea sons to fix the heel on her broken pump.  She told the Bea mothers to have tea ready for her when she returned.  She winked and smiled inappropriately at the Bea fathers and made them VERY uncomfortable.   

All of the Beas watched curiously as she sauntered toward the door.  Grunting and huffing she pushed her head and shoulders through the narrow opening.  "NEXT YEAR," she shouted, "NEXT YEAR we shall have a grand door for me to use."  The Beas rolled their eyes. 

Halfway out the door, Ms. Molly McVermin realized quite unfortunately that she was stuck.  "Oh COME ON!" she yelped.  "What am I, a silly old bear?"  The Beas' neighbors started to come out of their homes to see the commotion.  She asked them for help, but they were too busy.  She hollered for HER Beas to come help her.  They couldn't hear her, or if they could...they didn't let on. 

The sun rose high in the late winter sky, slowly it sank back down below the trees and still Ms. Molly McVermin struggled to get in or out of the Bea home.  To no avail, I am afraid. 

By morning, she was dead. 

The End


  1. Oh Lisa!!!!! You naughty girl!!! Char

  2. Well at least the cat didn't get her. ~Lili

  3. Darn that Molly McVermin. She deserved to get stuck. I think you have 2 McVermin excluders to put in to prevent the nasty relatives from coming to visit. You are a good Bea Momma.

  4. I'm ambivalent about my Molly McVermins. I trap them live and transport them to a park. But I also smile when I see my chickens have killed one and are playing catch with it.

  5. Great story and a deserving end to a thief.