Stay Safe and Have Fun!

Happy New Year's Eve!  Do you have big plans?  I sure do.  We are getting Kentucky Fried Chicken or Pizza or...wait for it...BOTH!  Then we are snuggling up with our Snuggies and playing Pictionary while watching Toy Story 3 and Despicable Me.  I KNOW-we are wild and crazy up here in the Maine woods.   It's scary sometimes. 

In other news....

I've been feeling crafty lately...here's what I've been working on...

CLICK HERE FOR MORE...

Have a great New Year~and thank you for following this little blog and thank you for all the supportive and amazing comments.  I don't have a million followers, but my followers are worth millions.  I love you all!

Smiles,
Lisa

Merry Christmas

From~Dottie, Stella, Chi-Chi, Pip, Alice, Arlo, cowBoy, Betty and me

Sweet

The land beneath my feet is my bread

It is complicated in its recipe

I have toiled over its composition

I have sunk my hands into its depth

It is my pain and my pleasure

It is what I consume every day

My back aches from its administrations

I fight to not walk away from it

I take it for granted, even though

It is my sustenance and provides for me

I woke up to chores that I didn’t want to do

And realized this morning that my land is my cake…

And so I would see it for how precious it is,

God frosted it for me.

Neither snow nor rain...

...nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the SWIFT completion of their appointed rounds.

I received a package today.  It was an eBay purchase.  It was fabric.  It is very pretty. 

The weird thing is...I hadn't purchased anything on eBay since...well since people did things like purchase things on eBay.  When was that?  2007? 

Why yes.  That is exactly when I purchased that fabric on eBay.  2007.  I'm glad it wasn't a new kidney or something vital like tickets to High School Musical II. 

Three years and, nine months to get from Yakima, Washington to Maine...via outerspace perhaps? 

Snail mail indeed.

Smiles from the farm,
Lisa

Dottie's Day

Click here to see what happened.....

How to Make a Fake Fireplace Mantle

I have been reading the Nester and she's all decoratee and stuff and she has these mantle parties where she asks people to send in pictures of their decorated mantles.  Now she is nice and says that you don't actually have to have a mantle, you can use a shelf or whatever.  But I don't want no stinking shelf.  I want a mantle. 

So I made one.  Here is how I did it.

Do you have a wall?  Well good then, that's the first step.  This is my wall.

Now the next two things you need to go out and get.  I had this shelf in my kitchen holding my cookbooks.  I forgot to take a before picture of it.  But it was brown and boring and pretty dang ugly.  The next thing is a mirror frame.  Now for some reason I buy these at auctions all the time.  They are cheap and pretty and ummm, cheap.  I think this one came in a lot for which I paid $5.00.   You could probably find one at an antique shop for pretty reasonable. 

Can you see it?  Do you see what I'm going to do?  Well let me show you.

See, I removed the mirror and am only using the frame.  The clothes basket full of toys isn't permanent, so don't worry about that.  It is just holding the frame up on the wall.  VERY professional.  

I painted the mirror frame and the shelf white and screwed both to the wall.  

I distressed the white paint because it was a little too pristine for my house. 

Now it doesn't quite reach the mop board but I wanted the shelf to line up with my trim.  I cut a board to place at the bottom to box it in, but it is still wet and I'm impatient, deal with it. 

So while the bottom board was drying, I shopped my house and storage for a mirror.  I found this one.  It is the first antique that I ever bought, 16 years ago.   I love it and it looks pretty good here.

I tried different items up there, first overflowing it and getting frustrated.  Then I just took everything off and only put back what I truly loved.  No plastic, no competing colors.  Simple.  Well sort of, it's hard for me not to swag shiny gold garland and tinsel from it.  I held back.  It's hard to see but I made a sign that says PEACE from card stock and jingle bells and THEN I walked away. 

I like it.  I like that everything is vintage and natural. 

Then I moved on to the table in front of the door.  This is where I would usually put the big animated Santa that waves and nods his head and everyone complains that his icy blue eyes folow them around the room.  We'll keep him in the bin this year.  Vintage ice skates with a gold bow, a french horn and some red berries from the backyard. 

Now I'm walking away. 

Sorry I forgot this was sort of a tutorial.  Did you get it?  A shelf, a mirror frame, some screws and paint.  Pretty simple. 

Smiles,

Lisa

The Nativity with Cookie Cutters and a few Liberties...

Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethleham.

The only room they could find was in a stable...

which housed a turtle, a chicken, a cat, two rabbits and a very tiny horse.

Mary gave birth to Baby Jesus.

Three wise men saw a star in the sky.  Well, two wise men and a bear...I'm pretty sure bears are kind of intelligent though.

They followed the star and found the new born King.  They gave him gifts. 

And that is the story of the very first Christmas. 

Sort of.

Shout!

When Big Bud was 3 he attended a special purpose pre-school at the United Cerebral Palsy center.  It was an amazing program that incorporated children at all levels of ability.  I would love to give a hug to the parents of the typically developing children that had their kids go to the program.  What amazing people those kiddos will grow up to be.  One little boy, though, always made me smile.  He wasn't typical.  He had some challenges, although attitude wasn't one of them. He was a tiny little dude but he walked into that building like he owned it.  He would sit beside Big Bud and help him with his snack.  He'd hand him his napkin and pick up his juice when he dropped it.  Just an incredible little kid.  We have been so lucky to know kids and adults like this. 

Last night was the second grade concert.  Now I advocate as much as I can for my kids and making sure that they are seen in the community and being involved is so very important.  But, sometimes it's just easier to put on our Spider Man pajamas and lay on the couch and watch Scooby Doo.  But last night I decided to have Big Bud participate.  His aide told me she would sit with him beside his class, "because you know he really can't sing and dance."  And all this time I was here thinking that when I dropped him off at school he was Michigan J. Frog---

Anyway, I am in my 17th year of being a mother and so have attended some concerts.  Though I recently learned that in the four years of chorus and band that the teenager participated in, she was only mouthing the words and had no idea how to read sheet music.  So all those concerts, I sat there and listened to her not sing and not play the clarinet.  So the least I could do for Big Bud was the very same thing. 

So we went.  I was anticipating a concert like so many millions of concerts across the land, 100- 7 year olds mumbling something about the holidays, someone crying, the boys in the back picking each other's noses, little brothers and sisters bawling in the audience. 

This is the last song of the concert.  Big Bud is in the very lower right-hand corner sitting with his aide.  He's having a ball...not singing and dancing.   But I want you to listen really closely.  Do you hear the little voice that's a little faster then the others, a little louder?  I'll pan over to him after a while.  In the very left hand corner you'll see a little tiny dude with blond hair and glasses, a blue shirt and black jacket.  That's Big Bud's friend from preschool.  He's still helping out.  I'm pretty sure he just needed to sing extra loud, because he knew that Big Bud couldn't. 

Then just as we were leaving this little girl came up and asked if her mother could take her picture with Big Bud.  Her mother told me that she talks about him all the time.  One more reason why we do the whole Spidey PJ thing, I'm an ugly crier. 

This Christmas if you think you can't do it all, if you can't live up to your own expectations, remember these little kids giving simply a voice or friendship,  joyously.  We should all be so blessed.

Smiles,
Lisa

Snow Day

The only food to eat on a snow day is soup but why does my vegetable peel pile always look like this? 

Jake liked the snow but he seemed a bit suspicious...as if we had put the snow there to distract him from the fact that we were going somewhere in the car without him.

Mr. Rooster stood here for a while before flopping ungracefully back to the hen house...

The babies came out to play. 

 
So that was fun....when's Spring?

Smiles,
Lisa

The Homemade Hair Cut

Or How to Make Sure Your  Son Isn’t Mistaken For a Girl or Justin Bieber

Imagine, if you will, a time when a 5-year-old boy needs a haircut. In the muggle world this is probably a non-issue. In our world it is hysterical.

1. Prepare. First you need to get a cat. Preferably an un-neutered male cat, feral and rabid. Now make him mad. I mean really, really mad. Perhaps get a Democrat cat and tell him that you like Sarah Palin’s glasses. Okay. Now put him in the washing machine, climb in with him and have someone hand you scissors. Turn washing machine on spin. Have cat, washing machine & scissors ensemble delivered to Super Cuts. Say that you need a little boy’s haircut. Of course it will sound more like, “Thunk, splash, ouch, Meow, I drive a Prius!”
Anyway, once you have dabbed the 5-year-old ears and neck with Neosporin, dispensed anti-anxiety medication to the other patrons at Super Cuts, please pay the $10.00 for the cut and $20.00 for a tip. Please don’t forget to add a little for therapy. You can leave the cat too. Leave Super Cuts and don’t feel bad when they put the closed sign up each time you drive by.

OR

2. Do it yourself. Just don’t let anyone get too close to him for the next two weeks and if they do, tell them his father did it.

Little Bud
Gotta' Love him!

You’re Welcome,
Lisa

The Barrel Chair

I think I paid $5.00 for this.  Maybe it was $2.00, I don't remember.  It is a rocking chair made from a wooden keg.  Well it has potential.  I know that I'm not the only one that sees that...right?

In my stash of treasures I had an old quilt that I think cost about $3.00.    It was pretty rough in spots.  But I knew that it had potential to be something else.  I wish I had time to realize all the potential of all the junk I gather...but there isn't enough time in the world. 

But for a grand total of either $5.00 or $8.00, I still can't remember, this one sad little chair is all better.  All she needs is a little girl with messy braids, bobby socks and a tattered edition of The House on Pooh Corner.

"When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it."

Winnie the Pooh


Smiles from the farm,
Lisa

Biodegradable Ducks

Dear Government Official In Charge of Garbage:

I recently have done some scientifical stuff and have discoverd that certain objects decompose at a rapid rate in my house.  I think this will come in handy when you guys are trying to figure out where to put everyone's garbage and stuff.  Please observe this following slideshow.



As you can see over the course of approximately seven days, the "Tuff Stuff" duck virtually disappeared.  We have so far unsuccessfully isolated the factor contributing to this phenomena but are confident that it will reveal itself to us fortwith, forth with, forsooth, very, very soon. 

Oh, oh, oh--holy crap I almost forgot.  Just in case you thought this only happens to ducks, please be assured that the same results occur with little yellow squeaky men, rubber hamburgers and the early works of Mr. Dean Koontz.  So it's for reals. 

I know this is really awesome and you'll want to give me some Nobil Prices and stuff, but I'll take cash or an X-Box.  Or a UNICORN!  Thanx!

Smiles from the farm,
Lisa

The Good Farmer's Guide to Goat Breeding

After the disappointment of Dottie's less then successful "gettin' good & knocked up" last year I decided that I needed my own little buck on the little farm.  I bought Pip. 

This was at the end of April or the beginning of May.  He was about eight weeks old.  He is now about eight months old.  Just prime for lovin.  When I bought him I also bought Chi-Chi.  She is a registered Nigerian Dwarf about 3 years old. 

So with Dottie and Stella that makes three does and one buck.  In my infinite planning and farm wisdom the does will be bred with Pip this month and we will have little babies in May. 

It will work out perfectly.  Nothing will go wrong this year.  I have it all planned out. 

Wait, what was that noise?

Now how on earth did that happen?

Pip? 

Hey, how you doin'?

I've got BABIES!!!!

Smiles from the farm,

Lisa

If you threw a party....

The daughters were looking at plushie dolls on Etsy the other day.  There were Dr.Who plushies and Star Trek plushies and other ones that I didn't know who they were 'cause I'm not a geek.  They are essentially dolls made from felt or fleece that are PLUSH and look like someone in the Sci-Fi category.  So I said, "There should be like a Betty White plushie."  And we giggled.  And then I made one, 'cause I just had to.  We giggled some more. 

Then some friends saw it and had to have one and now I have made like ten and each one makes me giggle when she's finished.  Good ol' Betty.  This one is for sale on Etsy.  Betty White

Thank You For Being a Friend,
Lisa

Huntin'

The days are getting short.  The sun starts to head for the hills at around 5:30 these days.  Tonight I had to run down back to grab my flashlight so I could feed the goats and as I tripped down the driveway thinking 'bout the things I do when no one else is around me, I just happened to look into the back field. 

I know my photographic skills are awe inspiring.  Hey it was dark.  I ran back to the house, up over the stairs, breathlessly saying something about a deer, horns, in the back field.  I grabbed my camera.  Husband grabbed not a camera but an implement of destruction.  At this point I paused and kicked myself for sharing.  Don't get me wrong, I am not an anti-hunter.  But I had already named this deer and he was my friend and his name is Harold.  I didn't want him to get dead.  So as all supportive wives do, I started shouting, "RUN Harold!, RUN!"  I was told later this was ridiculous. 

But Harold ran my friends, Harold ran.  Good ol' Harold. 





Smiles from the farm,
Lisa

I Like Halloween...

Back here live at the little farm with my friend Jake the Zombie...You're looking good Jake.  Jake just got an awesome face paint job, what do you think?

I LIKE TURDELLS.

Uhh, all right.  You're.....great....zombie. 


(Just in case you don't spend inappropriate time on the internets watching stuff like this because I mean who does that?  Really, jeesh get a hobby or something people.  Pathetic.)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN from the farm,
Lisa