Friday, July 2, 2010

Just don't ask me to do brain surgery...

When I had a booth at the antique mall, those three times, before I got bored and started chasing butterflies...hmmmm.....where was I going with this?  Oh yeah, I have a short attention span and get bored very, very easily but I'm up for almost anything as long as it doesn't entail repetition or the same action more than once.  The owner of the antique mall knows this about me since I've had three booths there and usually last about about a year or less. 

Well a few weeks ago she had a lady ask if she knew anyone who did upholstery, because she had a family heirloom, Victorian sofa that she needed recovered.  Well my antique mall lady gave her my name because I am a master upholsterer.  OH wait, no I'm not.  In fact other than stapling some fabric to chair seats, I have no clue as to how to do upholstery.  So of course when she called and told me she has this sofa that has been in her family for over 100 years and when she was a child she wasn't even allowed to sit on it and it means the world to her and how much do I charge for upholstering Victorian heirloom sofas, well I very regrettably told her that I didn't have a clue as to how to do that....Oh come on, you people know me better than that!  I told her to bring it on over and I'd get right to work on it being the master upholsterer that I am.  (I really am a living "I Love Lucy" episode). 

So she asked me to please be careful with it, it was priceless...I told her I would be very gentle with it. 

Here it is after I started ripping stuff off it because I was too freakin' excited to get a true before shot. 

She told me that it used to sit between the windows of her grandmother's farmhouse sitting room and no one was allowed to sit on it except for company.  Her grandmother had passed away a few years ago and she had just received the sofa from an aunt who only let her have it if she promised to take care of it.   I told her I would guard it with my life....

I think my thought process while I was doing this was, "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!"  Did I mentioned that  I have no idea what I'm doing?

She has called several times over the past two weeks to see how it was going.  I told her it was going wonderfully and I should be done in about a week.  In fact, at that point I hadn't even looked at it since I had shoved dynamite into the cushions and blown that sucker UP!  I am such a professional.  I did browse a copy of "Upholstery for Dummies" at the library.  I didn't check it out though, I owe a few fines...

This looks right, doesn't it?  Husband asked why I pulled the arms off.  Because I could and I wanted to see what was inside.  Yes, I was that kid who tore apart every retractable pen in the house much to my stepfather's ongoing chagrin. 

So although I know nothing about upholstery, I figured the first guy who upholstered something probably didn't know anything either.  To truly learn something new you just have to do it.  Probably not with someone else's grammy's legacy, but whatever....  I love to sew and I love fabric and just looky here, I can do upholstery.   But like I said above, don't ask me to do brain surgery, 'cause you know the first guy who did brain surgery probably didn't know what he was doing either....No, wait, just don't ask, it might not turn out as well as grammy's sofa. 


Smiles from the farm/upholstery shop/neurophysiology office,


  1. WOW! And again...WOWOWOWOWOW!!! This is absolutely amazing although you had me going. Between holding my breath and laughing I wasn't sure what to expect. That woman's grammy should be P.R.O.U.D. proud!
    Well done!

  2. I wish I could do that. I am too chicken, though. Pure, 100% chicken when it comes to stuff like that.

  3. It is lovely! But just think...if you tried brain surgery you might end up with a Little Frankenstein, much like the Little UnDead. It would be awesome!

  4. Oh my gosh...gorgeous!

    Now...I've done this type of thing before. Ugh and Argh! I stick to pillows and Christmas stockings because I don't FREAK OUT when doing those! Other than simple upholstery the thought of doing complete sofa makeovers makes me sorta sick. :( Bahhhhhhhhhhhh

    I am, however, totally amazed and delighted when someone else shows talent and is successful when slaying this type of dragon! I'm soo impressed. LOVE IT AGAIN!


  5. You darling girl! Look what a great job you did. I am so impressed...You must be hiding lots of other talents. Really, what a fabulous looking sofa. It is just beautiful. Ah, when are you going to be giving upholstory classes?

  6. That is fabulous Lisa! She must be thrilled. I wish you lived closer. We could be BFFs I can tell. I too get bored easy. That's why I don't like sports because I lose interest in a few minutes, and games...yikes don't get me started. I am also easily distracted by shiny objects.
    Great job girl!

  7. WOW Lisa. Can't believe you were really flying by the seat of your pants! It looks AMAZING! And so much better, I noticed the last upholsterer had covered up all that gorgeous wood on the top of the back. Did you pick out the fabric too? Love that tone with the wood. WOW again. It is SEW beautiful!

  8. LOL! omg...I can't believe you did that. But to be fair this is my first visit here so I don't really know what your "really" capable of.

    Looks fantastic, btw.

  9. I'm flabbergasted! I'm amazed! I'm thrilled. But I think you should have put a disclaimer on it! "Kids, don't try this stuff at home".

  10. Lisa, I can't even begin to know how you did that. I bet she loved it and was very impressed with your abilities. Wow girlfriend, that was something else, Char