So, Mr....uhhhh, Thomas, is it? Now why do you think you would be a good fit here at This House, Inc?
I handsome, I catch mouses.
Yes, that very well may be, but this is a VERY old house, there are lots of mouses, um MICE, here. Have you any experience in this type of position?
I am cat.
Hmmm, yes, I seeee. Now, I see here on your resume, that you are a male cat. How do I put this delicately....how do you feel about (cough) neutering?
No.
Well Mr. Thomas do you umm..spray?
Only when I cough or laugh.
Oh dear. Well here at This House, Inc. we have a very firm stance on our male employees. Chop, chop--as we say!
That's a joke, Mr. Thomas.
I don't get it. Look, they're real and they're SPECTACULAR.
Anywhoooo... we offer fantastic benefits. Free meals, warm bed, treats, clean litter box, unlimited pats and free medical care as aforementioned, umm Mr. Thomas?
Ooooh, I see mouse!
He run fast!
Oops, he get away.
Yeah, umm. I'm not sure you're quite what we're looking for here at This House, Inc. I'm very sorry.
Hey listen lady, you've got a department store mannequin in your kitchen with a 12-pack of coke between her feet, who are you to judge?
Well, uhhh, yeah. She's our head of Human Resources. Ironic isn't it? Heh, heh, hmmmm. Ok, fine, but you're on probation. I do not want to see nary a mouse dropping in this house from now on! Do you hear me soldier! Soldier? Mr. Thomas?
Hellooooo?
Smiles from the farm,
Lisa